1. Someone will try to get away with sitting in a pre-booked seat, then get huffy when asked to move

2. There will always be a person struggling with literally thousands of bags. A puzzling amount of bags really

3. People waiting poised and ready at the ticket barriers for their platform to be announced. They’d cut you for a seat

4. Someone running full pelt down the platform at about two minutes to the departure time, like the McAllisters in Home Alone

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5. Gang(s) of mates prepping to go straight out on the razz once they get off the train, with Christmas jumpers and bags of cans in tow

6. People tutting at the mates with cans (this could be you. Watch yourself)

7. Gals doing full going out-makeup and hair so they can also head straight to the pub when they get home

8. Someone stinking up the carriage with their Supermacs

9. People sitting on suitcases outside the toilets, attempting to ignore the stink

10. Someone trying to get away with putting a bag on a seat while people are sitting on suitcases outside the toilets

11. A person sitting dying hungover, radiating despair and clutching a bottle of Lucozade, hating their very existence

12. Spotting a person you went to school with, who you awkwardly ignore and who awkwardly ignores you back

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13. Someone clearly not anticipating how mad it would be so close to Christmas, looking rather shook and grateful to be on the train in any capacity

14. A person insisting on blasting Christmas tunes to get everybody ‘in the spirit of things’

15. And the rest of the carriage joining together – old, young, bag of cans, no bag of cans, seat stealers, and the people sitting on the suitcases – to hate this person openly

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